God is so good.  He has made events happen in my life to radically change the way I think, all the way to 2 months before snow blast...and coming to a head with chapel yesterday (there is still so much to learn).  It was amazing!  God showed me that though I didn't talk bad about most people in younger grades, I really struggled with a negative spirit toward my class, whether I ever said anything or not.  I had carried 6 years of bitterness around with me for so long and it was truly UGLY.  God convicted me at chapel and showed me that I had been a bitter, graceless, critical person.  In the last coupla months especially God had been putting on my heart GRACE and truth, but again, chapel really summarized it for me.  I really want to love my class...truly, deeply love them and care for them, care about them.  I'm working through what that looks like...how does grace play out in the classroom???

To all my classmates:  I love you guys sooo much!!!  

And I know I'll say this in homeroom today, but I'm sorry for being a jerk for a long time (no comments! )

Two Things-

I have two things.  First, I received a small book called the Valley of Vision that contains numerous small prayers and thoughts of some well-known puritan leaders.  A really neat phrase stuck out to me:

"...I have no Master but thee, no law but thy will, no delight but thyself, no wealth but that thou givest, no good but that thou blessest, no peace but that thou bestowest.

I am nothing but that thou makest me,

I have nothing but I receive from thee,

 I can be nothing but that grace adorns me."

(The Deeps, Valley of Vision)

For the second, I read Psalms 15 today (don't worry, it's not long) and I loved it!!!  I'd never read it before.  I guess it was interesting to me because once again I'm really struggling with being consistent with the devos.  This Psalm has some great applications and advice for anyone. The parts I really liked were parts of verse 3 and 4: 

1 "LORD, who may dwell in your sanctuary?  Who may live on your holy hill? 2 [He] who speak the turth from his heart and has no slander on his tongue... 4 [He] who keeps his oath even when it hurts..."

So life is well...I'm getting ready to go back to school.  I'm working on reflecting over this past year and I'm looking forward to this coming year.  Some big things happening.  I turn 18, have family stuff decided, graduate from high school, and go to college(meaning, leave everything behind that I've ever known...).  Yeah, so life is good...

Drop me a line, how goes it with all of you???

I Can't...

I can't apologize for being who I am.

I can't say sorry enough times for all the things I wanted to do but never did.

I won't apologize for liking sunsets at the beach, and loving them enough to act dumb.

I won't apologize for loving the classics.

I won't apologize for wanting deep conversations and asking deep questions with Christ at the core,

   --even if that's not the cool thing to do anymore.

I will apologize to God,

For all the things I've done in His name that weren't for Him.

I will ask forgiveness for all my sins,

   Then go sin again, and ask forgiveness again.

I can't tell myself I'll stop sinning, cause I've never stop sinning.

I can tell myself that I'll can't stop striving. To not strive is to have lost the race, the race of your life.

I'll strive with everything fiber of my being, til the last breath is pulled from my body, even with my mind screaming in agony, from the pain of thought, from the aguish of truth, from the destruction of evil.

Yeah, I can't...can't breath...can't stop...can surrender...will.

--Self Reflection

Hebrews 13:6

THE PISTONS GAME WAS AWESOME!!!

I had a ton of fun there, i got to talkto brandon alot, which was nice, I miss that kid like crazy!  He's doing good though.  It was just great to see him.  God is teaching him a lot.

Yeah, so life has been interesting.  Lots of crazy people stuff.  Lots of good stuff talked about in church tonite about community and stuff like that.  It was pretty convicting.

Equally convicting was chapel today.  Holy Cow (no pun intended) do I get really casual with God.  I treat Him, the Almighty God and Creator of Everything (including little me), like He's the bottom of my priorty list.  That's an issue.  I'm challenging myself to get real and get in awe of God, to take time (a sizable amount) to spend w/ Him.  Yeah, I need to start taking my time together with Him a little more seriously.

I just want you all to know, I love each and everyone of you like crazy!  And if you say you're a Christian, get serious about God.  Start telling everybody how much you love Him and why.  Seriously, try it. Nah, do it.

G-nite!

AHHHHHH!!! Pink. ...

Yup, I took Mr. St. Clair's advice and went pink, though I confess I just couldn't stand to go bright barbie pink.  Yeah...Hmm...It's...different.  I think I might like it, it's just bright.

So life is going decent right now.  I really feel like God is working on me especially right now.  He's still really convicting me on friends right now and how much I depend on them for satisfaction. 

It was really amazing this last weekend, I went to the Nancy Leigh Demoss conference at Central Weslyan.  It was so awesome!  It wasn't a super emotional experience, but I think that was better for me.  I'm such an emotional person, so it's difficult to trust emotional experiences.  I think God just chose to spoke to me in His quiet still voice and taught me the things He knew I needed.

God taught me about, again, satisfaction.  Specifically how I thirst for something, and seek to fill my thirst in things other than God.  God needs to be my satisfaction.  God is my satisfaction.  I feel like God is just pounding it in my head again. I'm pretty sure He's been trying to get the idea through my thick skull for the last three weeks...and I haven't been listening.  But I'm listening now. 

Yeah, life is truly good.  God is good.  I've seen Him perform so many incredible things in my life.

How is God working in your life?

P.S.  Interesting thing:  I've been talking to different people and so far we all kinda agree it's starting to feel like it's taboo to mention spiritual stuff outside of basketball class.  Do you agree?  Hmm...